Friday, August 30, 2013

Sadhguru Says

I woke up at insomnia O'clock. After tossing and turning for a bit, I decided to check on Facebook. I had an alert that showed one of my atheist friends mentioned me in a post. I clicked on the post and the comment read, "Marti should check this video" The video was the following:

What is God?- Sandhguru

I watched it three times. I closely considered each point. Sandhguru warmly shared his philosophy on God and creation. He was even quite humorous, but in the end his warmth and smiles led to darkness.

Below was my reply to my friend's comment.

Sadhguru is correct when stating gods are cultural influences.

The Bible commands us in both the Old and New Testaments not to “make” or worship gods and idols.  It is the first of the Ten Commandments, “Thou shalt not have other gods before me“ 
(For your reference if you so desire to read for yourself )

Sadhguru humorously explains how people view who God is to reflect who they are (white, black, brown, woman).

He is correct, people wrongly identify Him.  Truth is, God is Spirit. This article from got explains it better than I could at 4 O’clock in the morning.

Sandhguru says, “Whatever definition you put on yourself is not correct”

Not only is that possibly the most contradicting statement ever made, it is the cruelest thing one person could tell another.  He is essentially saying no one has purpose, no one is sane (we are all delusional), we can’t trust anyone or anything, there are  no absolutes.  Why would anyone of us care what we do in this existence if this were true. Oh, wait….how could it be true when  truth can’t be defined?!

Sandhguru in his conclusion says, “The source of creation, how are you going to put a definition on it? You can not define it, you can not understand it, you can only dissolve in it.”

Sandhguru’s philosophy tells me none of us are important because if we defined ourselves as such, we were wrong. It tells me not to believe who anyone says they are because they are incorrect. This has brought such clarity! Oh my goodness, there is no reason for life, there is no reason to continue living! Not only that I have done my extremely depressed daughter a huge disservice by teaching her the I AM of the Holy Bible was wrong when he said,  For I know the plans I have for you, “declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. (Jeremiah 29:11) When I taught her our God, the I AM loves her and she is the apple of  His eye. (Zechariah 2:8).  I think of all the scriptures I fed into her life….scriptures of love, joy, peace, selflessness, God’s laws…..and SALVATION through Jesus Christ for her sins! What was I thinking?!!  I ‘thought’ I was a good mother, but I was incorrect!!!! I should of let her continue in her incorrect definition of herself…the one that gave her permission to hurt herself.

By Sandhguru’s own admission through his philosopy, he is not a guru and what he is teaching is incorrect.

After careful consideration, I choose to hold fast to what Jesus said, “I am the way, the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.”  (John 14:6)  I will follow Him wherever He leads me. I will serve Him and only Him.

If you atheists still think I am delusional for believing in the God of the Bible, so be it. It really shouldn’t matter to you anyways, after all according to your beliefs you are just as uncertain, incorrect, and delusional for your unbelief.

Tuesday, August 13, 2013

A Window View

This past Saturday morning, my husband and I sat in our front room having our coffee. We were both quiet as we watched the birds from our bay window. We watched the view from the same physical perspective, but I am sure each of our brains were processing the information differently. I couldn't help wonder why my husband wasn't open to learning and understanding creation from the biblical view. I wanted so much to just ask him why, but I feared it would cause us to be at odds with one another for the remainder of the day. I live and speak my faith openly because that is who I am, but asking my atheist husband a direct question regarding biblical matters is rather difficult. 

I decided to take the plunge. I began with, "I want to ask you something that has been on my mind." He shifted his eyes and attention from the window view onto me. He said, "Sure" in a tone that told me he was all ears. I hid my fear for a few more seconds while I took a huge swig of my coffee. The conversation went something like this:

Me: Why is it that you as an atheist, won't watch or read anything I post about Creation and Evolution? 
Armando: Oh, I don't know....I guess I'm just not interested. 
Me: Well, you have asked me in the past for scientific, archaeological, and historical proof of the Bible and Creation. I'm no expert, but I try really hard to point you in the direction of some credible scholars and physicists, but yet I know you don't look into it. You won't even read the bible to see for yourself. 

Armando again expressed that he wasn't interested. I thought that was a cop out answer considering he is one the several who has asked me to defend my Creationist view. 

Me: You know atheists and agnostics alike accuse Christians of being closed-minded. By saying you're not interested is also being close-minded.  I read the stuff my atheists friends and acquaintances post. The articles that resort to insulting and demeaning jabs against Christians and other creationists I will not read. I love and care very much for atheists and I would never treat them like that. They are not stupid, they are wonderful intelligent people. Some of their "science" may be stupid, but they aren't. 

My husband's facial expression to this told me he appreciated what I was saying. I reminded him I had asked him at one time to show me proof of evolution, and that he never provided. I told him I had asked other Evolutionists to show me proof. None have. We discussed a couple of the popular "proofs" of evolution...bacteria, birds, and fish. I explained that bacteria does change characteristics, but it is still bacteria. It hasn't become a new "thing". I explained some birds and fish types have changed physical characteristics, but they are still of their own kinds. 

I went on to ask him how it is he came to believe in evolution. "From text books" was his confident response. I then ask how did he know for sure the text books taught the truth. Didn't he research it? Question it? Look for proof?  He admitted he didn't and that he felt the ones who wrote the text books knew what they were talking about. He trusted them. I pointed out that was blind faith. He didn't agree or disagree. 

Other things came up in the conversation like text book history, The Constitution, and Bible translations. There were a couple of times my husband got upset during our chat, but that was my fault. I have a bad habit of interrupting when he is talking. (I'm getting better though!)  But before we closed our conversation,my husband reiterated he wasn't interested in watching or reading my materials. He did say he might be open to it someday. I really hope he meant what he said.

 All in all, I was rather pleased with our serious coffee chat. I feel very honored my husband trusts me enough to share his beliefs. I will continue to do my best to always respect him. :)

Below is a link to EVOLUTION VS. GOD by Ray Comfort. If you haven't watched it, please do.  I encourage you to not be close-minded.


Monday, July 8, 2013


Wow, so much has happened since my last post. This past month has been so trying and I can't wait for this storm to pass. Losing my job, caring for an ill child, and dealing with my own health issues is really tough.

For the most part, my Atheist husband and I are dealing with these issues diplomatically. That's not to say we have our moments of frustration. There are times when I'm feeling so weak and alone and I just want my husband to pray for me.  Other times, there are things God shows me that I can't always share with my husband. Things that comfort me, assure me we are being taken care of, and mine and my daughter's healing process is on course. All this despite what it looks like from the outside. Even though my body screams with exhaustion, my mind and spirit are alive with hope.

I know my God is with me and He is my rock, but I often wondered what my husband held to in his times of despair. So I finally asked him. He said he believed in himself and that  he would figure out the solutions to our problems. I explained we as humans are fallible and we will fail, what happens then?  He said he would try and find another solution.  I know my husband's talents and skills and I have no doubt he can and will find a solution to our immediate financial situation, but he can't fix our daughter, and he can't fix my health problems.

He also stated that he leans on me for refuge.  ("But I am human, and I fail too!") I love being my husband's wife and I know I may be a louse at most things, but I am a good wife. However being a good wife isn't a constant, because be assured I will falter at times. Even if failing is beyond my control. For example, what if sickness took my life, would my husband blame himself because he couldn't fix it?  Would he fall into despair because his refuge would be gone? Would he blame himself? To who and what would he turn for help then?

To not believe in the living God and to not take refuge in Him seems so dark to me. A loneliness that never ends. I couldn't live like that.

Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.  2 Corinthians 4:16-18

Friday, June 7, 2013

Finding Fault

I can completely understand those who reject the Holy Bible, or even go as far as taking no interest in it at all. What I don't understand are those who not only reject the Bible, take no interest, and then have the audacity to judge or condemn it. They pick and choose passages and take them out of context in order to find fault.

My husband Armando is no exception. I'm sure he bites his tongue more often than not in his opinion of the Bible, but when he does express his assessments it is a challenge for me not to be defensive. Just yesterday, such was true. Our 17 year old daughter Shelbi is a serious Dr. Who fan, and she has spent countless hours watching and reading  anything Dr. Who. While making dinner, my husband I and were teasing Shelbi about the Doctor, but she was paying no attention because she was reading an article about him. I raised my voice a little louder and said to Armando, "Yeah, tomorrow we have to get up early and go to that Dr. Who protest." Shelbi quickly turned around asking, "What...Dr. Who...protest?!" We busted up laughing and Shelbi quickly realized we were being her normal goofy parents. After the giggles came to an end I said, "You know Shelbi, if you read and studied the Bible the way you indulge in Dr. Who you would be an even stronger person in mind, emotion, and spirit." I couldn't hear her response because I was distracted by my husband's instead. With a hint of sarcasm he said, "I seriously doubt that."  His statement was not only deeply offending, but I was upset by his hypocrisy! He is always preaching to others about knowing the truth and facts before you speak, yet he made a statement about the Bible and its implications for which he has no knowledge of.  And, he has no desire to read any of it! I didn't yell or sin in my anger (thank God!), but I did passionately tell him he had no right to say what he said and why. I didn't say it out loud, but if my husband only knew what I would be like with out the transforming power of God's word and my relationship with Jesus Christ he wouldn't be married to me. I would be bitter, angry, unreliable, spiteful, verbally combative, super critical, extremely sarcastic, and the list goes on. He never  responded to my statement, and I'm sure we both would agree that was probably for the best.

The amazing thing about times like this is my husband and I can move on peacefully, but on the rare occasions when feelings are bruised we always patch each other up right away.  The sheer dynamic of our Atheist/Christian relationship is one of the many reasons my faith in God is strengthened on a daily basis.

God Bless you and be with you!

Blessed are those whose ways are blameless,
    who walk according to the law of the Lord.
Blessed are those who keep his statutes
    and seek him with all their heart—
 they do no wrong
    but follow his ways.
You have laid down precepts
    that are to be fully obeyed.
Oh, that my ways were steadfast
    in obeying your decrees!
Then I would not be put to shame
    when I consider all your commands.
I will praise you with an upright heart
    as I learn your righteous laws.
I will obey your decrees;
    do not utterly forsake me.

Psalm 119:1-8

Monday, June 3, 2013

Religious Atheist?

Religion. I hate that word and I always make it clear I am not religious. Religion in my perspective is the practice of using God's Word (The Bible) to create a twisted version of  "Christian" dogma to control masses of people. Jesus said, "I am the way, the truth, and the life and no one comes to the Father except through me." (John 14:6). He didn't say, I am a religion, your religion, a dead religion and I am one of the ways to enlightenment.  Jesus never said to pray kneeling face down to the East or directed any priest of the Old Testament to have the people pray 20 Hail Mary's, nor did he instruct the Early Church of the New Testament to divide up into different branches of Protestant sectors in order to accommodate their difference of opinions. No, Jesus said, "Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me." I accepted Jesus' gift of salvation 33 years ago, but each day I have to choose whether or not I am going to deny my own life to follow His. That is not religion, that is called being in love with my Savior.

My unbelieving husband actually understands this love because he has denied himself for me on many occasions, but there is one particular and very special time that stands out above all the rest. It was on April 16, 2011. This was our wedding day and it took us 9 years to get to there! The Pastor of my church conducted the ceremony in the backyard of my Groom's parent's house and it was completely Christ centered. My Atheist Groom bowed his head when we prayed. He took communion with me and the Pastor at the alter as our daughter Shelbi sang, "My Only Hope" a love song from a child of God to his/her Savior. My groom did all this for me, and if these things made him at all uncomfortable he never never once expressed it, but instead he never took his eyes from mine. He said every word with a full sincere heart hoping his actions would forever be imprinted in mine.

My Groom did not compromise his stance as an Atheist, nor was he being "religious" in any way shape or form. He simply expressed his unconditional love for his bride by denying himself for her. To do this is an equivalent to laying One's life down for another. As a result I never doubt his love and commitment for me. Even when my own insecurities from past wounds whisper their lies about my husband's loyalty I am reminded by my Lord how my husband chooses each and every day to deny his own life as a single person to be joined with me. That is the daily evidence that obliterates the ugly lies that try to pry us apart.

It is our hearts and minds that consciously choose to be married to one another every new morning when we wake. A choice we make even when we know very well the day will greet us with its challenges.

Blessings to you :)

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 
1 Corinthians 13:4-8

Saturday, June 1, 2013

The Lighthouse

I'm going to fast-forward to where we are now, and when needed we will visit the past. My hopes are to point your eyes and heart in the right direction at the right time. I want to help you to clearly see the course for which God  has carried my husband, our children, and I to our current location in this journey. The journey is far from over of course, but like the tall ships of the sea the sails are many, but the wind and sea is what carries them.

My husband and I live in a small port town in Southern California. He has lived in this town all his life and he plans on spending the rest of his years here. I on the other hand, was born here near the sea, but I was raised in the desert of Yuma, AZ.  I am a nomad by nature which stems my desire to move from here to there whenever and when. But, Armando is a like the lighthouse who is perfectly content planted on the rock of the sea. I've come to learn and accept that being part of the lighthouse is where I am supposed to be. 

I have been working as a Materials Manager for the past 6 1/2 years, but yesterday was my last day of employment. The small company I worked for is going through some big changes and there was a necessity to cut back on expenses. Though financially it will be tough and quite a test all on it's own I know this is providence caring and pruning His creation.  My husband is working for an aerospace manufacturing company as a software engineer/network administrator. (I'm so proud of him). He is carrying so much stress and burden on his shoulders. It doesn't help when he sees his wife and youngest daughter struggling with some old wounds of the past. He works hard to be a good example to his family. He strives to do quality work for his employer while never compromising his integrity. He always makes time for me and his children. He wants so much to work with me to make our new home a beautiful lighthouse for all who come and find rest, but lack of funds prevent him for now. I could go on and on about him. I don't mean to do this as to boast or sound cheesy, rather because I have such a deep appreciation and respect for him. He has shared with me that he doe not like when people say they will pray for him. Though I understand his reasons, I always pray anyways.  I pray to my Lord that even though my husband doesn't believe to please bless him anyways because he first loved me who is a child of the king. The Word of God says, "I will bless those who bless you, and whoever curses you I will curse; and all peoples on earth will be blessed through you." (Genesis 12:31) 
So, I hold God to His promise to bless my husband with peace, strength, healing, and provision. I hope my Atheist is ok with this, but even if he isn't....too bad I'm never going to stop :)

We don't have any children together of our own. This isn't by choice, but because I can no longer conceive. We do have a cat named Baloney and Baloney has a mate named Piper. (Piper belongs to our now 17 year old daughter Shelbi.) We are supposed to have a German Shepard named Moses, but like God my Atheist husband doesn't believe that either. :)

This Atheist/Christian marriage relationship has been really successful, but it isn't without it's problems. Because we have two complete different world views in regards to government, public education, and deciding what godly and ungodly things are allowed in our home. For example, he is a hard-core Progressive Democrat and I am a Conservative (not Republican) that stands more in the Centrist position. He loves to post really sarcastic stuff about Republican and Christian Conservatives. I often took these post deeply  and painfully personal. In return, I would lash out by posting  or saying sarcastic stuff about his beloved Obama. Of course, my reaction only fueled the problem. It also made me sick inside because I knew I was doing exactly what God commanded me as a Christ follower NOT to do. So I stopped. Sometimes I still find myself wanting to slip up, but I've learned to bite my tongue and give it to the God who put Obama in office. (Yes, God put Obama in office. Don't believe me? Read Romans 13:1) 

In conjunction with changing my attitude and actions, I also shared with my husband how his posts made me feel. With that he toned it down. I was also pleasantly surprised to find out he doesn't view me in the same light as the Christians he finds to be hypocrites. He has admitted that I practice what I preach....Wow, that meant so much to me! I am honored in my husband's eyes and that truth motivates me to stay the course!! 

Until next time, have a great weekend. 

"Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path."  Psalm 119:105

Wednesday, May 29, 2013

The Believer and The Atheist

How do I sum up the past eleven years of our relationship history?  I've been trying to decide the best direction to take in telling our story. Sharing it in such a way you will truly understand the very unique and special dynamic of our Atheist/Christian marriage. I suppose a good start would be to share how and why we chose to be an Atheist and a Christ follower.

The Believer:

I am a realist. I am analytic, sometimes to a fault. I am very spiritual.  I knew even as a child of 5 years old there was a God who loved me. Not because the bible told me so....because I didn't even know what the bible said at that age. I knew out of  the pure existence of this absolute that was hidden deep in my little spirit.  Those who know me well (regardless of religious or non-religious association)  would say this is because I am so in touch with the spiritual realm. Perhaps, but it was deeper than that. I could feel His love and security, even when very bad things happened to me. I know how the Atheist or Agnostic might rationalize this....they might say it was the workings of the human mind to cope with difficulties or loneliness. I actually do believe our minds are capable of disassociation and such when trauma, fear, and/or pain is inflicted. This is a medical and scientific fact; however, there is no science that can convince me love is simply a chemical or biological induced emotion. Love, not to be confused with infatuation or even fascination, but love, as in a person who would willingly lay his or her own life down for a friend. A decision to do so for whatever circumstance is not made on pure emotion, but from the depths of the heart. It surpasses all understanding. It is selfless. It is tangible.

This love was confirmed to me when I was 10 years old. It was late Spring of 1980. Mom began taking me to church. I was extremely shy and I didn't want to go to the children's Sunday school. I sat in the cold aluminum fold out chair trying to hide my legs beneath it because I was the only ten year old with dark hair growing on her legs. Why wouldn't mom just teach me to shave?! My heart's attention was quickly shifted away from my hairy logs when the Sunday school teacher began telling us about the love Jesus had for us. How He came to earth not to condemn us, but to save us. Save us from our sin for which we were born into. Sin that separated us from God. How there was nothing I or anyone could physically do to earn salvation from sin. How God gave his only Son as a sacrifice to take the punishment for my current and future sins. The kicker for me was when the teacher explained that Jesus wasn't forced to be a sacrifice, but that He made the choice to be. I believed  and I gave my heart to Him....I accepted His gift of life. Thank you mom for taking me to church (even with hairy legs), and allowing the message of hope to be shared with me. It is because of you I know my precious Lord.

The Atheist:

He is logical. He is a problem solver. He is meticulous in his work. He is a software engineer/administrator. He taught himself computer programming on a Unix platform when he was in Junior High. He's a nerd for Heaven's sake! He's a cool nerd, but don't tell him because I don't want it to go to his head ;) He is patient and, very rarely makes a decision on a whim. He is completely loyal and has an amazing integrity. I often wonder how his big heart can fit in his small frame.

He and his little sister were raised Catholic by two AMAZING parents. They are two of the most giving and loving people I know. (I'll share more about these two precious people in a future blog)
In his Catholic school he enjoyed rolling candies down the floor between the rows of desks to annoy the teacher. He didn't pay attention to the bible lessons and to this day he has no real knowledge of what is written in the bible. One day, his sister's classmate who sat behind her tried to light her hair on fire. When  Sister realized she was being turned into a burning candlestick she stood up and began cussing out that little snot nosed Pyro! (Ok, I don't know if he had snots, but it sure sounded good) Well, Sister ended up getting in big trouble with the school for cussing out the fire-starter. I suppose the clergy person felt she sinned in her anger, and that was reason enough to punish her. This really angered her big brother. He had already seen the major faults and hypocrisy in the Catholic church for which he tried to tolerate, but when his little sister was not shown the grace and protection they preached he turned away from God, the Church, and all organized religion. From that point on, he decided to hold fast to his commitment.

 "Free will, though it makes evil possible, is also the only thing that makes possible any love or goodness or joy worth having."   ~ C.S. Lewis

Monday, May 27, 2013

"See Food"

After two months, it was apparent Armando and I were serious about our new relationship. I didn't know he was an Atheist at this point and time, and to be perfectly honest, I really didn't care. You see, I had hardened my heart towards God and the church during the time my ex-husband cheated on me and left the kids and I. So, as far as I was concerned it didn't matter who I became unequally yoked with.

My children Andrew(16), Jennifer(11), Ashley(8), and Shelbi(6) knew I was seeing a new man. All, except for Jennifer were against my having a boyfriend.  I didn't want to force them into a friendship with Armando, but I didn't want them to think I was sneaking around with him either. It was best that they met him and judged the man for themselves, so I decided to have Armando join us for dinner. I wasn't a very good cook, but I sure could fry up some tasty chicken. Of course, that particular evening the chicken came out bland and over-cooked.  To make matters worse Andrew refused to be in the same room with us. I apologized to Armando and he was so gracious and understanding. The girls, Armando, and I sat around the dining table. I sat at the head of the table, Armando to my right, Jennifer to my left, Ashley across from me, and little Shelbi sat next to Armando. Shelbi wouldn't sit still. It was as if her already hyper-active mind and body were high on sugar. She kept playing with her food. Ashley decided to join in with the food play and went as far as flicking it at her sister Shelbi. I tried to gently scold them from across the table in an attempt to settled them down. I lowered my gaze back to my plate and before I could blink I saw a dinner roll spiral across the table and hit my plate. I flashed my gaze back to the source and there I saw Ashley with a big ole' proud cheeser grin. I scolded her once again. She didn't stop the giggling, but at least she kept her food grounded.  I was so embarrassed and afraid to look at what kind of expression Armando had on his face, but I forced myself to look anyway. He had a look of mild shock coupled with a suppressed smile. His attention shifted to Shelbi and her "Close Encounters" food mold she was constructing on her plate. She and Armando locked eyes and to my horror, Shelbi opened her mouth slow and wide, stuck her tongue out and  revealed a collage of her chewed up food! Like a nightmare everything moved in slow motion. Jennifer faced palmed, eyes downcast, and shaking her head. Ashley letting out a huge belting laugh. All I could think was, I'm never going to see this man again.

Some how, we made it through our meal. When it was time for Armando to leave, I told the girls to stay inside so I could talk to our dinner guest for a minute. Shelbi was screaming and crying at the door while Jennifer tried to hush her. I turned to Armando and said, "It was nice knowing you."  He crunched his eyebrows, tilted his head, and asked, "What do you mean?" I started spewing out apologies for my kid's behavior and promised I wouldn't hold it against him if he didn't want to date me anymore. He chuckled and took my hands in his. He looked me square in the eyes and said, "I'm not going anywhere, anytime soon."  That was 11 years ago and it still brings tears to my eyes when I tell the story. (Yes, I'm crying right now.)

Until tomorrow....G'night :)

Sunday, May 26, 2013

I Found Him On The Internet

I don't mean I Googled a single good-looking atheist to marry, rather I stumbled upon his chat profile on a popular social network. I had just moved back in with my parents after being divorced for nearly a year. I was an out of work emotionally wrecked single mom of four.  After spending hours trying to figure out the new world of online job applications I decided to take a break and sign into my Yahoo chat account under my screen name. As I browsed the profiles of people who were currently online in my area, my eyes fell on his pic. , There was a safe warmth about him that captured me. After discovering he was an Information Technology/Software Engineer I knew that was my ticket! I had no real computer skills and I needed to learn fast if I wanted to land a job.  I opened a chat window, but I was lost for a sincere conversation starter. I didn't want to sound like a desperate sleazy girl "looking for love" ugh.  I settled on something simple like, "Hello, I noticed your profile says you are knowledgeable with computers and I was hoping I could ask  you some questions."  I waited for quite sometime, but I eventually realized I was being ignored. I signed out for the day.

The following day, I was back to online job searching.  While on the hunt,  I kept my Yahoo Chat client open and available hoping someone would find me interesting enough to converse with. Alas, someone sent me a chat request. I thought, "who is this?" Oh yeah! the computer guy.  I quickly responded. After brief introductions, he apologized for ignoring my chat request the previous day. He explained how he thought I was a 'Chatbot'.  I asked, "What is Chatbot?" Computer Guy responded, "A computer designed artificial person used to promote porn sites or sex chats."  My screen name containing a female name sounded like a sex type "Bot" name?! So much for not wanting to sound desperate. 

Our chat that day was filled with laughs, intelligent conversation, and he showed the utmost respect towards me. The most amazing part about it was, he didn't know what I looked like. I didn't have a profile pic posted. He was simply intrigued by me, the woman behind the computer monitor.  It wasn't until about three weeks later that I decided to post my picture. (My mom had to help me because I didn't even know how to do it!) Computer guy was very very pleased with what and who he saw. As he would tell you today, his exact thoughts at the moment he saw my picture were, "She is the most amazingly beautiful women I have ever seen.....MINE."  I know that last part probably sounds like a madman stalker, but I assure you it isn't. I'll explain later :)

We set a date to have coffee on April 1, 2002. A couple of days before our meeting I got really really scared. I had been with my ex-husband since I was 16 years old and I was now a divorced 32 years old with four kids, living in my parents' garage, and still grieving the loss of my marriage.  What was I thinking?!  I had no business meeting another man at this point in my life. How should I act, what should I say, what if he falls for me?...I don't want to lead him on! So with that in mind, I tried to break off the coffee date. In an attempt to change my mind, he asked if he could call me by phone.  I was hesitant, but I agreed.  After our hellos, the conversation went something like this....

Me: I'm not ready for this. I don't think I can go through with our coffee date.
Computer Guy: (In a mysterious tone) Are you sure because I think you are going to be pleasantly surprised when you see me?

With that word, 'surprise' my heart began to rise and I felt the blood drain from the top of my head to the souls of my feet. My head raced trying to understand what he meant!

Me: What do you mean?
Computer Guy: I know you and you know me, but you'll have to wait until our coffee date to find out. 

Suddenly, the ground underneath me began to spin....oh God did my crazy jealous ex-husband set me up!? Who is this guy?! 

Me: (Hiding my panic) We know each other? How?
Computer Guy: You'll see.....
Me: I hate surprises please just tell me!

He began asking me questions which were more like hints. Just as I was about to hang up on him and never speak to him again.....he finally revealed he was Armando Ortiz an old friend of my brother and parents! I was shocked at how different he looked in his Yahoo profile pic, which would explain why I didn't recognize him, to begin with. 

About 7 or 8 years earlier, I had briefly met him through my family. I was married to my ex-husband at that time. When Armando saw me that first day he was enamored (his words).  He told my mom, "She is going to be mine someday." mom was like, Ok Romeo, she is married you better watch it!  Now you know what he meant by, "MINE" when he saw my Yahoo profile pic ;)

There was even a time shortly after that first meeting my mom and I bumped into Armando at our local Wendy's restaurant. We invited him to sit with us and the whole time he just stared at me with hearts in his eyes. It was like I was the only person in the room for him. I thought he was a cute nerdy lovesick puppy. :) 

Needless to say, I went to coffee with Computer Guy and we haven't been apart ever since. 

To be continued...... :)